Posted 20 hours ago

Notes on Heartbreak: From Vogue’s Dating Columnist, the must-read book on love and letting go

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As Annie Lord reels from a broken heart, her stunning memoir revisits the past, from the moment she first fell in love, the shared in-jokes and intertwining of a long-term relationship, to the months that saw the slow erosion of a bond five years in the making. It actually took me more than a week to read Notes on Heartbreak, which is quite a long time for me.

I look at her now in that mirror and she’s me and I am her, and although we’re the same thing I see that we can talk to each other even if I will always know what’s coming because she, her, me, is the only thing I can count on to be there for the whole of my life. I think if I met the right person and they weren’t comfortable being written about I would give up the column, though that would be difficult because they’d probably say they were uncomfortable on about date three and I still wouldn’t know if I was going to fall for them enough to give it up?I like how his thick Yorkshire accent curls over the Ts until they disappear, smooth as a beach pebble. The way Annie talks about Joe is beautiful and made me tear up in public a few times, coming across like both a love letter to him and then herself. It’s a sparkling and deliciously indulgent read which gets right into your chest and stays with you afterwards. I can listen to Taylor Swift's 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' at full volume and know that it's women like me she's written it for.

I can’t stop thinking about how there’s no one there to know that I’ve gone for a bath, or for a walk, and as a result the act of doing one of those things, anything, starts to feel completely pointless. I noticed a lot of the literary references you cite in the book to express your feelings were originally written about grief as we traditionally understand it – linked to bereavement. In flashback scenes in the book, you’re still in a long-term relationship and you’re a young, freelance journalist trying to break into the industry. The intellectual references perfectly blend in to the writing, which actually seems really difficult to achieve but Annie made it look easy.He wants someone easier,’ or ‘oh, he’s just going through a personal crisis and he’s taking it out on me because I’m the easiest thing to let go of. Sometimes that kind of shift in tone could dangerously fall into coming across like two different essays that have been copy and pasted together, but Annie completely avoids this, with every reference feeling useful and adding to the writing. The person I’m speaking to directly [in those sections] is a really idealised version of someone and as time passes my view of them becomes a bit more realistic as I was able to handle the truth of it and see the situation as a three-dimensional thing.

I lived life all over again through him and learned each action’s merit through the response it pulled from his body. Every line felt like it could only be crafted from her perspective, in her mind, with her words — which is what I love most about my favourite authors! The creation of a shared experience is evidently key to her success in gaining a readership who see their own anxieties, triumphs and losses in love reflected in Lord’s words. O que fica comigo é a forma como Annie se redescobre e começa a perceber todas as maneiras em que se perdeu ao longo do relacionamento. Annie Lord released her debut book in 2022 and, if you've ever been through a breakup, it's sure to get you in your feels.

Reading about Annie Lord’s pain, jealousy, anger, sorrow, self-pity, regret, and numbness left me feeling connected to her in a way I haven’t felt with many books. And it’s through this inner dialogue that you become conscious of yourself as someone you can talk to and have a relationship with. This journey back to your own self is the part about the last two years that I have enjoyed the most and like Annie, the support of my friends along the way has been invaluable beyond words.

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